A Game No One Wins
by Dan Amsterdam
Summary: When a violent video game corrupts Jimmy Olson and the rest of Metropolis' youth, Superman goes forth to find the devious makers and bring them to justice!
1. LEVEL START

A GAME NO ONE WINS

Disclaimer: None of the characters, locations or objects appearing in this work are owned by that of this author.

Uncle Herald quietly moved through the woods. He was hoping, praying that none of them would hear. He had gotten seperated from his friend Oliver, who also happened to be an uncle. He was soon informed of Oliver's whereabouts by the blast of a shotgun and the blood-curling screams of a man.

"Bleep bleep bloop!" could faintly be heard in the distance. "I got 200 points! Now entering Bonus Level!' Herald recognized this voice as that of his nephew Issac. Issac used to be such a nice, police boy. Then one day, it came.

A hot new game, UncleCide, a pulse-pounding new game where players could create their uncles and then hunt them down in bloody combat. Issac became so obsessed with the game that his personality changed. No longer would he drink his milk, respect his elders, or say the Pledge of Allegience. All he wanted to do now was smoke drugs of all sorts, tease the handicapped, and kill his uncle.

Issac's friends were also seduced by the game and soon they began hunting down uncles all over. And now they were hunting for Uncle Herald.

Herald crawled into a bush, hoping to hide away from the boys until daylight came. Instead, his chest was soon loaded with buckshot. "I got top score!" "Curse you, UncleCide..." 


	2. LOADING

The following day at the Daily Bugle:

Jimmy Olsen: Bleep bleep bloop! 50 points!  
Kent Clark: What's gotten into Jimmy Olsen lately?  
Lois Lane: Oh, he's been playing one of those home video games lately. Considering how much time he puts into it, I'm surprised he hasn't quit work just to play more.  
Kent: Huh. That crazy kid.  
Jimmy Olsen: Bloop bloop! I'm gonna get top score! Take that, Uncle Alan!  
Kent: What are you talking about, I'm not your uncle.  
Jimmy Olsen: BOOOOOOOM! Take that, Uncle Geoff!  
Lois: Jimmy Olsen, I'm not an uncle anyone, and I thought I told you never to bring that up ever again!  
Jimmy Olsen: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! Take that,Uncle Louis!  
Perry White: OH MY GOD! LOCKDOWN!

The minute Mr. White saw Jimmy Olsen making a gun with his hands towards him, he knew there was immediate trouble. Mr. White activated the Lockdown signal, summoning the police. Jimmy Olsen was soon dragged out of the building by several SWAT troopers. And for good measure. Mr. White saw that he was fired. 


	3. PLEASE WAIT

Meanwhile, at the Viscerage Games company, the insidious developers gloat over their corruption of America's youth.

The Supervisor: Jacobs, how are the graphics coming along?  
Graphics Developer: Ready for your evaluation, sir.  
Supervisor: Hmmm, not depressing enough. Add some more brown to it.  
The Boss: Vernon, have we recieved any updates yet?  
Supervisor: Another 791 uncles in the last hour, sir.  
Boss: Excellent! Just superb! At this rate, 25% of the nation's youth will have become our slaves within two months!  
Supervisor: Our sequel has been coming along nicely as well.  
Boss: Yes, Patricide, the game that will make us even more millions, and corrupt more children than we could ever imagine! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! By the way, how long will the mandatory tutorial level be?  
Supervisor: Twelve minutes at the least, sir.  
Boss: Brilliant... 


	4. NOW LOADING

Three weeks later, Jimmy Olsen had all but barricaded himself in his apartment. He had lost his girlfriend, his social life, and his dignity. All he ever did now was play his video games from hours on end. Still, his friends hoped they could talk some sense into.

Lois: Aagh, it smells like approximately six things died in here.  
Jimmy Olsen: (trying to get out of his chair) Oh, hey Lois.  
Lois: My word, Jimmy Olsen, how many pounds have you gained over the weeks?  
Jimmy Olsen: Meh, just 65, it's really not all that noticeable.  
Lois: Jimmy Olsen, we need to talk to you about your video games. It's not healthy for you!  
Jimmy Olsen: You can't take away my video games, they're totally fun! Hey, where's Clark?  
Lois: He refused to come, he's too disgusted to even see you now. Though I must admit, I can't blame him.  
(Superman enters)  
Superman: Jimmy Olsen! How can you keep playing video games like this?  
Jimmy Olsen: Video games respect me, and I get to kill things!  
Superman: Wow, I'm surprised you keep doing this even though your fingers are so fat that you keep unintentionally pressing the wrong buttons! Plus, don't you have any friends to play with? Your game box has five controllers.  
Jimmy Olsen: We can only play online. Plus, these are some new friends!  
Superman: Would you listen to yourself, Jimmy Olsen! There's no such thing as online friends! Don't you see, you've become a fat, worthless waste of existance!  
Jimmy Olsen: Go away. Bleep boop boop.  
Superman: Loser. Come on Lois, we need to get to the bottom of this. 


	5. INSERT DISK 2

Supercide knew that Unclecide has been corrupting all of Metropolis. Nephews all over have wiped out all of Metropolis' uncles. Fortunently these games have had no effect on the nieces. This did not make make any difference to Superman, considering he was forced to destroy Susan a few months back. Still, he knew that he could not take down this video game company alone. It was at that time that some unlikely allies entered Superman's Fortress:

Lex Luthor: Hello, Superman.  
Superman: How did you three get in here?  
Luthor: Clearly at this time it is the least of your concerns. We too know the threat Viscerage poses to America. Perhaps we could come to some sort of agreement at this time.  
Superman: Well, I suppose we could work together this once. One thing I don't get though, what's your beef with Viscerage.  
Luthor: Think about it, this company is slowly building up an army of child soliders. Normally I would be content with obliterating entire armies, but blowing up children obviously would not look good for my public opinion.  
Superman: What about that raygun you used to alter human ages?  
Luthor: You destroyed it.  
Superman: Crap. So what about the other guys?  
Toyman: Video games are pitiful excuses for toys! They must be taken out from the grubby hands of youth and replaced with a real toy! I'll show them how to create a true child army.  
Luthor: Jack, you promised.  
Toyman: Ahem, sorry. Well, anyway, I can help rehabilitate them afterwards.  
Darkseid: Superman, you have seen the horrid wastelands that is my Apokolips. It may not be too far soon until this world is transformed into a similar desolation. We all know you would not want such a thing, and frankly I do not desire to conquer another Apokolips. So what it be?  
Superman: Very well, let's go. 


	6. CUTSCENE

The four entered the halls of Viscerage. They were soon attacked by an army of brainwashed minions.

Superman: Wait, these aren't children! These are all a bunch of lowlifes in their 20s!  
Luthor: Looks like our job just got easier.

All four charged after the sorry sacks. Superman froze one nerd with his frost beams and threw it at two other nerds. Luthor strangled a lardo with his grappling hook. Toyman unleashed a jack-in-the-box with a buzzsaw, tearing through several attackers. Darkseid made some space with his fists. However, the pitiful minions kept coming.

Darkseid: How can there be so many worthles....EEEYYYAARRGGHHHH!!!!!

Darkseid was sliced in the back with Toyman's buzzsaw-in-the-box. This gave the geeks an opportunity to fill Darkseid with bullets.

"Superman....Luther...avenge me..."

And so they avenged him. After finishing off the last loser, Superman and Luthor headed to the head office. 


	7. DIPSWITCH

Superman and Lex Luthor made their way into the head office Murdering Games Inc. When Superman kicked down the steel doors he was shocked to see the man behind it all.

"Hello, my son." It was Jor-El, Superman's father, alive and well.

"Father, why are you doing this? What could you possibly gain from manipulating children into killing their uncles?"

"I'd have thought you would be able to figure it out by now. Unclecide was merely a test to see if our influential games worked. Our sequel Patricide will be even more powerful, powerful enough to corrupt even you! Under our control, you would be relentless in your quest to hunt me down and DESTROY me!"

Luthor became livid. "_You_ treacherous boob! The plan was only to have the children of the world turned against Kryptoions, _then_ your life could be ended!"

Superman slapped Luthor. "Are you saying you were also behind this?!?"

"I never wanted to make a legion of parent-slaying maniacs! Just for the children to exterminate the last of your kind, then they can move on with their ho-hum lives."

"This can end now," Jor-El interjected. "Luthor has already forced you to slay your own mother some six months ago. Now you must fulfill the next portion of the plan, by killing me. What's more, your cooperation right now will spare you the remorse of having to slay Ma and Pa Kent."

"**AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!**" Superman screamed as he immolated Jor-El with his heat vision, rendering him into a pile of ashes. Superman collapsed to the ground his hand covering his tearful face.

Luthor calmly placed his hand on Superman's shoulder. "You have made your father proud, Clark."


	8. 3P

A truck pulled up to the charred remains of ViserAge Software. The driver stepped out of his vehicle and looked around the abandoned wreckage. He threw his head back and laughed very hard. "Soon, dear nephew, it will be your time to fulfill the prophecy. A pity that UncleCide failed to awaken a blinding rage towards me." Zor-El tore off his suit to reveal the costume of Zor-El. "For now, I must take care to Kara to prevent her from ruining things." Zor-El set fire to his truck and then flew off into the dark cloudy skies.

Clark Kent was happy. ViscerAge had been taken down, the brainwashing had worn off, and the parents have grouped together to burn down the last of Metropolis' video game stores. No longer would Superman have to worry about the lost and wasted lives caused by the tyranny of video games. Now the children of Metropolis could look forward to living lives.

But then, Kent saw a familiar figure lying in a gloomy alley. He recognized this figure as none other as Jimmy Olsen. "Someone, please help me…" There lie the strongest casualty of the video game menace, deformed into a creature so pitiful, it would be difficult to believe that it once had the potential to be something in this world.

"Get away from me, loser."


End file.
